A House Is Not A Home

A house is not a home
Because her heart turned to stone.

A house is not a home
Because she lost her cheerful tone.

A house is not a home
Because she is gloomy and all alone.

A house is not a home
Because she died inside and her spirit is gone.

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Para Jamaludin’s Rupa Pura – Pura

The first time I met the author Para Jamaludin was around two – three years ago at an event where she performed her own song and instantly fell for the melody.

I’ve read some of her writings as well and find them to be sincere and unpretentious like those ‘penulis sajak moden’ wannabes who replace the word ‘boleh’ to the Indonesian word ‘bisa’ just to make a writing sound more poetic and expressive.

Her tweets are funny as well and I managed to make myself look like a lunatic when reading her hilarious updates on Twitter. Unfortunately I think, she deactivated her Twitter account and since then my timeline became a bit less entertaining.

Is Rupa Pura – Pura serves as a ‘pengubat rindu’ to her tweets? No lah. I’m not that creepy.

I received my copy of a pocket-sized Rupa Pura – Pura from Poket Press since early December and I took my time to finish it as I wanted to think about what every word meant.  

She crafted her words beautifully into riddles that only she knows the answers. Riddles that I was able to answer and some left me wondering. Her sentences go deep down the core that when deciphered, it’s as if treasures have been found and the passage to this woman’s heart and mind unravelled.

Oh, kiranya, Para Jamaludin, orangnya misteriuslah? Kakakaka.

No pun intended. My experience reading Rupa Pura – Pura would have been better though if it came with a CD of her song “erotica cinta itu yang kau lukiskan padaku, kalau layarkan kasih pada lautan itu.”

Ahh. Juara Lagu material no? Kakaka. 

I Am My Father

I always wonder how I would hold my son
Swim at the beach under the summer Sun
Be at his side when he learns how to shave
And no matter what comes, I’ll tell him to be brave
Share with him on life and girlfriends
Not just a father, but I’ll be his best friend
I’ll cheer for him on his football game
Or just sitting together, laughing on jokes so lame.

I promised myself that I would never be
Like the father I had when he raised me
Raised my son like how I wanted to be
But I am afraid that would never be
Because on the mirror is not just a reflection of me
I am my father and my father is me.

The Dancer

She danced gracefully to the strumming of the sape
Took steps so effortlessly as if walking on clouds
Mesmerizing are the angelic sways of her hands
I fell in love with her instantly
As she turned around and our eyes met

Her name was beautiful as the Moon
A pure soul, she emanated kindness
Spoke softly, her smile was priceless
I was speechless and in awe
Why have I never seen her before?

Little did I know, I wasn’t the only one
I pursued for her hand, so were other men
Played my cards carefully
For a love so true, I couldn’t afford to lose

I thought I had her
How could I not think as such,
When I really felt it inside?
I won, but not how I wanted
I lost, as her heart wasn’t mine

Just like the Moon who turned her darkness towards Earth
I let her go and she walked away
And at last she found her Sun
Together making an eclipse that forever lasts
Shining together creating wonders and beauty
As for I,
I could only watch her from far away.

New Year’s Resolution: The Never Ending Cycle

It’s the last month of the year and I’m sure most of us are anticipating for 2014 aside from Christmas. Come the 1st of January 2014, it’ll be a new beginning and a chance to start over as if being reborn into life, but with goals and aspirations.

Perhaps right now you’re thinking on what are your resolutions for next year as you are reading this post. Now is also a good time to reflect on 2013 – have we achieved what we are trying to achieve when we set our 2013 resolutions?

I started making New Year’s resolution when I was in primary school when the Malay Language teacher gave an assignment on ‘Azam Tahun Baru’. Since then, at the end of every year, I never failed to set my resolutions for the next years to come.

As the year goes by, to be honest, I don’t give much thought on any of the resolutions I made. “I’ll do it next year then” I said when August came. The cycle goes on and on and on. Many resolutions and many failed attempts.

Looking back, I asked myself what were my resolutions for 2013? I can’t remember if I made one at all. On last year’s New Year’s Eve I was barbecuing all night until the clock struck 12. I didn’t have any resolutions made in mind.

Being jobless for more than a year now, what have I achieve? I think my 2013 highlights would be graduating and be debt-free from my college and starting up my own independent clothing line. That’s about it. Do I want to set any resolutions for next year? I don’t think so.

I piled of all of my past resolutions I had in my head. Some I wrote on paper a couple of years back. With those unachieved resolutions, I have a debt that I owe to myself. A promise I made to myself that I’ve broke many times and I think it’s time to make it up.

Having resolutions or goals are not enough. They are dreams, and if we don’t work for them, they’ll be just dreams. And that is exactly what happened with all my past resolutions.

I guess to us, who are having a hard time realizing these resolutions; we need to keep reminding ourselves of what we are trying to achieve. Be resourceful in finding ways to overcome obstacles and achieve. Be strong, be fun, be crazy, don’t be afraid and meet new friends along the way.

I also think, what’s most important is, to share our resolutions with those we love and those we know who will continue to support us.

But, I’m pretty secretive when it comes to things like these. I’ll share one though:

In 2014, I want to go to the Sarawak Rain Forest World Music Festival which I really wanted to go since I was in high school.

What about you? Will you make resolutions for next year?

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What’s Left Of Me

Tie me up
Rip my pants and shave my head
Make me moan
Fuck me till I bleed.

Make me beg
I’m on my knees like I have no dignity
Beat me
Leave marks on my skin.

Scream at my face
Like I’m a filthy piece of meat
Abuse me
Till I lost what’s left of me.

Skin Care: A Dude & His Experience

I’m not one of those guys who don’t pay  much attention when it comes to skin care. I don’t have a beauty regime where I have a whole set of skin care range. I only have a face wash and that’s it.

Just recently a friend of mine, Puteri, a beauty consultant who owns an online beauty shop gave me a sample of her home made ‘lulur kopi’ or coffee face mask/scrub and I decided to try and write my experience.

Wrapped in bubble wrap the ‘lulur came in a 200 – 300 ml bottle. Upon opening it, the smell of freshly brewed coffee filled the air and it was somehow therapeutic. I took more deep breaths and I realized that the smell reminded me of something – the smell of milk tea like the ones in Yoyo and Chat Time. I guess it’s probably the result of the mixture of the ingredients. Nevertheless, it’s still coffee.

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At the time of writing my experience, I’ve used half of it.

Pure organic coffee, olive oil extract, Vitamin C & E and Manuka honey make up the ingredients. The coffee beans were grinded into small bits and mixed with the other ingredients into this dark, sweet smelling (or coffee smelling that is) paste.

Benefit & Application
“What are the benefits?” I asked. It gives you a glowing and healthy skin, unclogs pores and gets rid of dead skin cells which could make your skin fairer. “You can apply on your face or any part of your body you wish for two to three minutes and rinse” Puteri added.


My Experience & After Effects

It does really smell good so I decided to try it the night I got it; I applied on my face despite my facial hair. It was Movember so I had facial hair. I wet my face a little bit and applied over my face. The mixture felt cold against my skin. I waited several minutes before I rinsed it of by applying a bit of facial wash on my face, wet it a little and scrub it over my face. It became a facial scrub. The slight coarseness of the grounded coffee beans scrubbed against my skin felt good.

Dried my face and looked at the mirror and I felt fairer. The texture of my skin felt soft and sort of bouncy. The softness and the ‘bounciness’ of my skin lasted through the night. My cheeks felt like a baby’s butt. I can’t stop touching it. I guess that’s a sign of a healthy skin.

Even now as I’m writing this, my skin does feel soft. That’s the obvious effect. As for my skin being fairer, yes it did became fair but I wasn’t able to maintain the fairness. It’s, my fault though because, I spent my time under the Sun a lot without sun block thus, at the end of the day, my skin became dark.

Coffee facial became a ritual. I applied onto my face before I sleep. I think now my addiction to coffee isn’t only to drink it but to put it on my face as well. Gosh this ‘lulur’ smells so good.


Want coffee smeared over your face? Why don’t you make an order to Puteri at Gorgeous Damias Beauty’s Facebook page? Other products like the Flawless Set is a best seller as well. With great and convincing testimonials from customers, it’s no wonder her products are a hit.

Thanks Put!

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